Memories
by JKSMWLA
Summary: I was watching from inside of Sora as the red haired Nobody faded. It felt like I should care, like this should mean something but it didn't. This is more an excerpt than a summary but oh well.


I was watching from inside of Sora as the red haired Nobody faded. It felt like I should care, like this should mean something but it didn't. I didn't even know him. He was just some guy that had started bothering me in Twilight Town that I had gotten into a fight with.

What really got to me was when he said he had wanted to see me. He had died, for me? I didn't know him and he had cared that much for me.

The last of the red haired Nobody faded from view after summoning a portal for Sora. It felt like something was missing but I didn't focus on it.

It probably didn't matter anyway.

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It started with flashes of that red haired Nobody's face. Neither Sora nor I had thought about him since the whole thing had ended. I wasn't even sure what the images were just that every once in a while they would flicker in front on my eyes. The images didn't seem to mean anything or be in any order. They were just images of his face.

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I hadn't had any of the image flashes for a while. I was just starting to think that it had past when something else happened.

One minute I was watching Sora talking to Riku through Sora's eyes and the next second I was somewhere else.

I was sitting on the clock tower of Twilight Town with the red haired Nobody. Just as he sat down he handed me a sea salt ice cream. I had no control over my actions. Just like when I'm watching through Sora but it was different. I was looking through my own eyes. I was wearing one of those cloaks that the Organization members wore.

_I felt myself smile up at him._

"_Thanks for the ice cream Axel" I said to him after my first bite. He grins at me and replied "No problem, though you gotta be careful or you'll get ill from eating to much."_

_I glare at him and tell him that, "I most certainly will not". We're both laughing now. _

I can't quite believe it. We're friends. I know him. The scene fades after a while and I'm back to watching Sora. Trying hard not to think of the memory that I just had return to me.

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There are more memories coming to me. Not all of them have Axel, but most do. Several of missions with him, going to the tower and getting ice cream, and asking him questions.

I remember all the Organization members now. I remember Xion too. Those memories sting a bit. I still feel empty somehow. I try not to think of it. I know I should miss Axel since he was my best friend and I do, but it still feels wrong, like I ;m missing the point somehow.

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The next memory is of the fight between Xion and Axel. Another of a fight I had with Axel, and then I know I'm mad at him, that obviously we weren't friends, not at the end. I tell myself that, it didn't matter that he died. I'm not sure I believe me.

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Next I remembered being told he was terminated. That everyone at Castle Oblivion including him was gone. I remember the numb feeling I had after that. It hadn't registered at first. It hurt but it didn't really hit till I wanted to ask Axel why it hurt. When it dawned on me that I couldn't because he wasn't here. That he wouldn't ever be.

I would have broken down then, like I did when this memory happened but the next memory came. Axel returning. I remembered being so happy. I almost tackled him I was so happy. He wouldn't tell me what happened. That didn't matter though what mattered was after. When we returned to the castle when we should have been resting I went to Axel's room. I needed to know he was ok. We kissed. I remembered it, telling him how I missed him. Asking him how I could _feel _something_._ He couldn't answer me so I just brushed it off. Memories of feelings and all that stuff that the Superior went on about.

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The memories after that blurred. The memories of stolen moments between the two of us blurred with memories of regular missions. I remembered caring. I remember being happy, even if I shouldn't feel that. Then the memories of the confusion that came with Xion and not knowing who I really was came. The situation got worse.

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Final, the last memory of Axel returned, the memory of leaving the Organization, of leaving him. Remembering that at the very end he told me he would miss me. I had thought at the time that he couldn't. He didn't have a heart. Even after everything I had convinced myself he couldn't care. He had though, he had missed me and I forgot him. Forgot everything we went through together. I forgot that though I didn't have a heart, being with had made me feel like I did. I turned away from him when we met again.

I was breaking down. How could I just be remembering this now? Why not sooner?

I had thought after that it would be over, but it wasn't. One last memory came to me, but I was looking through another's eyes again. This time though it felt more like I was trapped inside Sora.

_"You're… fading," Sora tells you. _I could hear Sora, but I could also hear myself. My thoughts when this had happened.

_"Well, that's what happens when you put your entire being into an attack," you tell him._ It's so different now, watching you fade, knowing everything.

_"What were you trying to do?" he asks you. _I hadn't cared about his answer before but now, but now it was so important to me.

_"I wanted… to see Roxas," you tell him as I watch_. I can't do anything and I hate it. I hate it because I remember, because I want you to be okay. But mostly I hate it because this is just another memory and no matter what I do I can't change it_. "He… was the only one I liked. He made me feel… like I had a heart."_

Everything hurt as I watched my best friend, my love fade away in front of me for a second time. Now I know, I know why I felt empty after he died but I can't do anything about it. Oh God, Axel doesn't even know I remember him.

Everything fades back to Sora's mind. Why now, why couldn't I remember when I could have actually done something. When I could have talked to him, when I could have held him.

Why can I remember now… when Axel's gone and all I can do… is remember.

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This is my first fanfiction so I would love reviews. If you don't want to though that's fine to. If you really want to flame me I will read them, so be my guest though I will probably not care much for them. Thank you for reading I hope you like it. ~~ JKSMWLA


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